It is very cold. Weather warning level cold. Cover all the skin before you go outside cold. Don’t leave the dogs outside for very long cold. We don’t really need to get the mail today cold.
I want to paint some.
I am lucky that I am not searching for something to do. I have a long list of things I feel compelled to do. In fact my problem is much the opposite. My list of desires, things to start right now, is so big I have trouble getting started each day. Then once I get going, I have trouble with stamina. I need to take breaks and I am easily distracted. Who isn’t these days!
Its like I am searching for something, and my excavation tools are paint, pencil, fiber, looms and my journal. i’m an archeologist, painstakingly dusting away layers of dirt to find only glimpses of treasures. What is this dirt comprised of? Mostly self doubt. Some lack of understanding from others. I am blessed with family and friends that are very supportive and seem to understand that it is important to me to do this work. But I get a sense that they don’t understand why that is so - and to be fair, neither do I. Another element of dirt I need to whisk away is the very brokenness of our country, our world. It worries me. I feel I should be doing something about it. My inner voice insists that I should do my work. But, the top level of dirt derides that as not enough, not effective. Its hard to shake the feeling that I should spend my days writing my senators, marching for causes, volunteering for organizations that promote justice and healing.
Or, I can do the work that forges my soul’s connection to my creator, and hopefully bring those who engage with my work another step closer to themselves as well. What do I want people to get from engaging with my work? I want to bring them into closer alignment with themselves.
Thank you for reading.